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BULLSHIT ANALYSIS BY:
Prof. Harry  Frankfurt
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BULLSHIT BULLETIN
Why haggis hunts
go burp in night		 Champion liar is
accused of cheating
LIKE Frankenstein's monster, the haggis is assembled out of spare parts - the stomach of a sheep and its heart, lungs and liver,  plus some porridge, suet and onions.
   Is the finished product a living thing? Lots of American tourists think so.  They believe it is a nocturnal creature which - like Robbie Burns' ghoulies and ghosties - may go bump in the night.
   As part of  Scotland's limited contribution to world cuisine, it is more likely to go burp in the night . . .
   According to a survey, a third of all Americans on a trip to Scotland arrive ready 		THE world's biggest liar competition ended in chaos when the winner was accused of cheating.
   The new champion, South African TV professional Abrie Kruger, dubbed himself Lord Abrie Ritson Yon Marra Kruger and wore a kilt he was not entitled to.
   As the drunken audience railed against the judges' decision, Howard Christie, landlord of the pub that hosted the ancient contest, said: "I think we left the bar open too long."
   Abrie, 24, in Britain to shoot a documentary, won by reading a proclamation in the local Cumbrian dialect staking a claim
Alias poor Walmart,
I sue them well		 Woof, woof! Mobile phones for dogs
PATRICIA VanLester won worldwide sympathy when she was trampled  by a greedy crowd of shoppers stampeding for bargain $29 DVD players at WalMart's superstore in Orange City, Florida.
   The story was flashed round the planet and appeared in countless newspapers as an example of crass US commercialism.
   Editorial writers were not impressed by Walmart's promise to reserve one of the coveted players for when she came out of hospital. Something more generous was indicated, they said.
   Not so, says Walmart. For when it comes 		NOW your dog can call you on your mobile provided you live in Japan and can afford a $225 hitech phone with a $36 insert card that turns woofs into words.
   Soon the technology will be in the US and the rest of the world. Don't think people won't buy it.
   The phone's software is derived from an earlier gadget - the Bow-Lingual dog translator - which has been bought by more than 300,000 Japanese since its launch in 2002 and is now catching on in a big way in the US.
   The money to be made from pet projects is

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